Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Ike isn't a new character, dammit!

Lots of media outlets and blogs are reporting the arrival of Super Smash Bros. "new" brawler Ike from Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance for the Nintendo GameCube. Enough with this, I will clarify.

See this kid?



That's Ike.

See this kid?



That's Marth.

From a literary standpoint, Ike is a very different character from Marth. He has a different name and his sword is spray-painted gold. From a SSB perspective, all of you SSB losers have been fooled. If you look closely, you'll notice both Ike and Marth have similar colored hair. That's what gives it all away.

These character "changes" are just as dynamic as the transitions between SSBM Bowser to SSBB Bowser and SSBM Link to SSBB Link. This time, it's from Marth to Ike (Marth = Ike!!!1!!!).

Fanboys, don't talk to me about this kinda shit: I know my stuff. If you want to see new characters, wait until the next trailer, bitch.