I'm not a retro gamer. I can't explain to you why Zelda II: The Adventure of Link is the best place for your money this week on Virtual Console. Not to mention those press release snippets are nothing to go by. That's why I'll cumulate reviews from across the interwebs each week in the hopes you'll be persuaded by today's modern retro reviewers. Trust me, they're geniuses.
Zelda II: The Adventure of Link (NES, 1 player, 500 Wii Points): Link returns to Hyrule to search for the Triforce and to awaken Zelda from an endless sleep. Embark on a quest to find the Triforce of Courage and save Hyrule from ruin. Learn magic spells, talk to people in towns to get clues, collect items to increase your power and explore six palaces where the underlings of the evil Ganon await you. This sequel to the Adventure classic uses a side-scrolling visual engine unique to the series for more technical combat, and features more in-depth world roaming as Link encounters townsfolk while on his quest.
"...even though it's absent the charm and elegance of the first and third games, it was also a proving ground for a lot of ideas that have appeared in more recent episodes." Worth It! - 1up
"...released in 1988 this game wasn't received with the enthusiasm of it's prequel. It's not difficult to understand why, considering it's a break from the familiar mould that made Zelda popular in the first place." 3 out of 5 - The Virtual Console Archive
Dead Moon, Milon's Secret Castle, and ToeJam & Earl in Panic on Funkotron after the jump.
Dead Moon (TurboGrafx16, 1 player, 600 Wii Points): This side-scrolling shooter includes a total of six scenes spanning areas from Earth to the moon. The story begins with a comet discovered in the vicinity of Pluto that is headed on a sudden collision course with Earth. Mankind narrowly succeeds in diverting the comet's course, and it crashes into the moon. However, investigations into the damage uncover that what hit the moon was not a comet, but a gigantic mother ship. Power up your ship, destroy enemies and fight your way through the bosses in an attempt to reach the moon's core and protect Earth from alien invasion. Enjoy the unique world of Dead Moon, including various stages with beautiful backgrounds, a power-up system that increases your attack as well as your defense and bosses that have you altering your ship's direction to fight them.
"...this is just a side-scrolling version of Blazing Lazers from two weeks ago, which is just a bit too much, too soon. Shooter fans will want it, but everyone else can pass it up without losing any sleep." Not Worth It! - 1up
"If you’re a shooter fan you will feel affronted by this insipid and characterless title, and if you detest shooters then there is certainly nothing here that will change your perception. Avoid!" 2 out of 5 - The Virtual Console Archive
Milon's Secret Castle (NES, 1 player, 500 Wii Points): It is a world where music is the language of the people. An evil warlord from the north arrives and captures the castle. The princess is imprisoned deep within the castle, and the world's musical instruments are taken and hidden away. Our hero, Milon, takes it upon himself to fight the warlord, rescue the princess and recover the people's musical instruments. He has only his wits and the magical Bubble to aid him on his quest. Help Milon along the way by looking for hidden doors, finding secret items and defeating fierce enemies. Make sure to look for the shops inside the castle, where you can buy hints and valuable items. Whenever Milon finds a Music Box, he will be transported to a bonus stage. Each instrument you find will add a layer to the background music. Try to grab all seven instruments to create a performance worthy of a music-themed game.
"Milon's Secret Castle is the furthest possible thing from fun; it's ugly, primitive and full of counter-intuitive requirements." Not Worth It! - 1up
"Milon is incredibly frustrating – in fact, it’s almost legendary in this regard... Add to this some terrible graphics, annoying music and repetitive gameplay and it becomes hard to recommend." 2 out of 5 - The Virtual Console Archive
ToeJam & Earl in Panic on Funkotron (Sega Genesis, 1-2 players, 800 Wii Points): During ToeJam and Earl's trip back home, a number of Earthlings hitchhiked on their spaceship and are now infesting planet Funkotron. ToeJam and Earl must track down the Earthlings in order to capture them in large jars and ship them back to Earth in spaceships. It is also their funky mission to find 10 beloved objects belonging to Lamont the "Funkapotamus," the source of all funk in the universe, so they can persuade him to return to his favorite funk-filled planet. ToeJam and Earl must use their "funk powers," such as Funk Move and Funk Scan, to assist in evading and capturing the Earthlings.
"Panic on Funkotron is a side-scroller with jumping and springy platforms and shooting, but it retains enough goofiness to stand apart from the billion other platformers to be found on Genesis..." Worth It! - 1up
"With two players the game is a lot more fun so if you have a buddy who is willing to play this through with you it may be worth a look. For solo players this is probably best avoided." 3 out of 5 - The Virtual Console Archive
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